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George
Aubrey Lyward, known affectionately as Chief, was an extraordinary
and unforgettable man. With his thin, erudite and sage like appearance,
countenanced with deep brown twinkling eyes, many at first were
taken to thinking that he was simply a kindly, warm and gentle
person. He was, but he was also a deeply perceptive man capable
of making seering and astringent challenges to peoples ignorance,
indifference or lack of personal understanding. |
It
was by the combination of these qualities that he stood out from
others and their complacency and self indulgence. He was tolerant
and patient, nuturing and encouraging, but if someone became stuck
in a rut, in a cyclical loop of repetitive and self damaging behavior,
he was capable of presenting a challenge in a very un-predicatable
way, timed with great precision, in order to untangle a confused
and lost mind. These painful and at times shocking experiences
everyone remembers with gratitude. Not as a humiliation, but as
a necessary loosening of a strangulating emotional knot, that
at last allowed through breath and inspiration the ability to
form relationships with others, redeeming years of suppressed
misery and resentment for those who had suffered abandonment,
rejection or neglect. |
He
would often say that we were mourning a lost childhood, but he
gave us un-conditional love, such that we were able to engage
in what he regarded as the most healing thing of all - relationships.
In spite of many who would remain cynical and destructive, as
the only "creative" skill they knew, as the heart gradually
opened to play, teasing and community engagement, the promise
of freedom and fulfilment felt on their first day at Finchden
gradually became manifest, giving courage and enthusiam for change
and creativity for all who felt it. Indeed, the image of growth
and abundance was all around us, not only from the grounds of
Finchden, but from the surrounding countryside - the gentle and
enchanted landscape of Kent, and the nearby magic of the Romney
Marshes and the south coast. |
Likened
to Shakespeares Prospero in the Tempest, the Chief could marshal
the opposing forces of the animal and the etherial that lay in
us all as potentially untamed destructive forces, and focus them
such that real creative power was ours for the taking. He taught
us to think, and challenged clever and slick rationalising, that
can find an excuse for anything. The peer group presented the
potential for envy and jealosy between the haves and have nots.
The culture of generosity that we found ourselves in meant these
redundant energies were transformed by the desire to value each
other. That in itself was fulfiling. You could say that love,
expressed as emotion, empathy and promise, was applied through
generosity, with outstanding and unlikely results. |
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THE
MAN.
SUMMARY.
